Funny Jokes
Funny Jokes
A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s surgery.
“Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks.
“I´m having a baby.” – she replies.
“Is the baby in your stomach?” – he asks, with his big eyes.
“Yes, it is.” – she says.
“Is it a good baby?” – he asks, with a puzzled look.
“Oh, yes. A really good baby.” – the lady replies.
Shocked and surprised, he asks: “Then why did you eat him?”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!”
The doctor replied, “Show me.”
So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again.
She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box.
She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
A doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.
“Seamus, I am going hunting tomorrow. I don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of my patients.”
“Yes, sir!” – answers Seamus.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: ”So, Seamus, how was your day?”
Seamus told him that he took care of three patients.
“The first one had a headache so I gave him Tylenol.”
“Bravo, and the second one?” – asks the doctor.
“The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Malox, sir.” – says Seamus.
“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” – asks the doctor.
“Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opened and a woman entered. Like a flame, she undressed herself, taking off everything including her bra, her panties and lied down on the table. She spread her legs and shouted: “HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!”
“Thunderin’ Lard Jayzus, Seamus, what did ye do?” – asks the doctor.
“I put drops in her eyes.” !!!!!
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Customer: Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Customer: Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Customer: Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter: Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Boy:” I love you..
.
Girl:” Shutup..
.
Boy:” I Like you..
.
Girl:” Shutup..
.
Boy:” I Miss you..
.
Girl:” Shutup..
.
.
.
Boy:” you are really pretty !!
.
.
Girl:” Really ??
.
.
.
.
Boy:” SHUTUP..:p :O 😀
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
How Guys feel sorry aftr hurting their girlfriend
.
1st msg:” sorry
.
.
2nd msg:” sorry pls..
.
3rd msg:” jus talk 2me once baby
.
4th msg:” pls listen na baby pls
.
.
5th msg:” plz itna naraz mat ho mujse
.
.
6th msg:” I’l die agar tune baat nai ki to
.
.
7th msg
.
.
Saali Tere jaisi 10 ladkiya rehti hai mere piche..
Tu kya khud ko miss world samajhti hai.. Bhad me ja!
.
.
8th msg:” baby I’m really sorry I was drunk last nite… :p :O
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Teacher to student Aaj tune fir homework kyun nahi kiya..??
.
Student:”sir, light nai thi..
.
Sir:”to saale mombati jala leta..
.
Student:”sir, machis nai utha sakta tha..
.
Sir:”kyu.. ??
.
Student:”sir, puja ghar me rakhi thi..
.
Sir:”to uthayi kyun nai.. ??
.
Student:”nahaya -nai tha sir..
.
Sir:”saale nahaya kyu nai tha.. ??
.
Student:”paani nahi tha sir..
.
Sir:”paani kyu nahi tha.. ??
.
Student:”sir motor nahi chal raha tha..
.
Sir:”ullu k pathhe ab motor kokya hua.. ??
.
Student:”sir aap admi ho ya pajama, saala kitni baar bolu light nahi thi ??.. :p :O :/
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
funny clean jokes, funny jokes in hindi, funny dirty jokes, short funny jokes, funny jokes for adults, funny quotes, funny jokes in hindi, funny jokes sms, funny jokes on girls, funny jokes in english, funny jokes for kids, funny jokes for adults, funny jokes for facebook in hind, funny jokes for fb, joke funny, joke funny sms, joke funny hindi, joke funny short, joke funny messages, joke funny phobias, joke funny quotes, joke funny shayari, joke funny punjabi, joke funny pictures, funny joke for boys, funny jokes for boyfriend and girlfriend