Computer Jokes
Computer Jokes
Girl: Which computer do u have?
Boy: I have a computer with intel core i7
processor at 3.3 ghz, windows 7, 64 bit, 8gb ram
& nvidia gtx 560 graphics card.
Boy: which computer do YOU have???
Girl: A PINK ONE !!
What to say now. 
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Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command.
Husband: Exactly darling!
its a computer, not a Husband..!!
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Dear Computer User,
I Do Appreciate Your Kind Attitude Towards
The Keys 0f Keyboard,
But
0ne question…
Why Do You Press All Keys Softly n Hit Me
With All Your Power?
Yours sincerely,
‘ENTER’ Key!
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Dil agar CPU hota to aapki sabhi yadon ko SAVE Kar sakte,
Dimag mein agar PRINTER hota to khayallo ka PRINT OUT nikal lete,
Dhadkan mein agar PEN DRIVE hoti to zindagi ka BACKUP lete,
Mann mein jo BLUETOOTH hota to baton ko TRANSFER kar lete,
Ankhon mein jo WEBCAM hota to tasvir ko RECEIVE kar lete,
Kash Zindagi bhi ek COMPUTER hoti to use bhi RESTART ker lete,
Kaaash aisa hota?
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Teacher Gave Him Punishment
To Write 5000 Times
“I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class…”
And Submit It Tomorrow….
Next Day, He Submitted The Paper Written
#Include
Void Main( )
{
Clrscr( );Int N;
For( N=1 ; N<=5000 ; N++ )
Printf(“I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class”); Getch( ); }
Be A Programmer… Think Differently
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Girl setting password with Boy-Friend sitting beside her
She types “BRAIN” as password
Boy-Friend fell off his chair Laughing Bcoz
Laptop replied: TOO SMALL
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GODS are also I.T. Engineers
BRAHMA
System installer
VISNU
System supporter
SHIV
System Programmer
NAARAD
Data transfer
YAM
Deleter
MENKA
Virus!
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Google maybe the most powerful search engine
but,
it can’t search
.
.
.
.
the chappals u lost at the temple 
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Hansi ko INBOX
Anso ko OUTBOX
Gusay ko HOLD
Muskan ko SENT
Help ko OK
Dil ko VIBRAT kro
Phr dekho zindgi ki RING TONE
kesi pyari mehsos hogi.
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Sir: Wo Teen Words Batao Jo Subse Jyada Bole Jate Hain ?
STUDENT: Mujhe Nahi Pata….
Sir: Shaabash Beta, Baith Jao..!
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Q: Wat did d CPU say to d input devices?
A: You fill up my senses…
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Fuming Wife: Wats my value in the family??
Techie Husband: An Unknown Virus..!!
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Q. How do u keep a programmer in d shower al day?
A. Give him a bottle of shampoo which says Lather, rinse, repeat.
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Q. Whr’s an astronaut’s favourite place on the computer?
* * * * *
A. The spacebar!
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U hav a compute addiction wen u
kiss ur girlfriend’s homepage.
Ur dog has its own website.
And even ur night dreams r in HTML..!
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A good friend is like a computer;
me ‘enter’ ur life,
‘save’ u in my heart,
‘format’ ur problems,
‘shift’ u 2 opportunities &
never ‘delete’ u from my memory!
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If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted cause the index doesn”t hash,
Then your situation”s hopeless and your system”s gonna crash!
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All of a sudden, she’s typing in a different font.
She starts ending each sentence with only 1 exclamation mark instead of the usual 3!!!
She tells you that she’s been working a lot.
And….
During an intimate moment in a chat room, she reveals herself to be GRANDMA!!
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Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table
and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (The woodcutter and the Axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.
The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good, I’ll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn’t inserted it yet, It’s still on my desk. Sorry….
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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer.
When asked to define great he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger”.
We are happy to report that the young man achieved his lofty goal. He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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